


Legacy of Alistair

by BelleWrites (sunleyemrys)



Series: The Warden Commander and the Commander [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Death, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 08:50:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14849625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunleyemrys/pseuds/BelleWrites
Summary: There... its Done! Emotional as fuck.





	Legacy of Alistair

Alistair was dead. Solona could be angry at her cousin later over it, because she knew Marian would have sacrificed herself, but Alistair made her leave because she was pregnant.

Pregnant.

The one thing Solona had never been able to give her husband, the love of her life. Children. They had known for years that even if the Taint was cured, it had ravaged her body too much to allow for children.  It was hard truth, but it still hurt.

But now she had a mission, a promise to keep. Marian was safe, Fenris was with her and that elf was never going to leave her side again. But Solona needed to visit Skyhold, needed to speak with Morrigan. And Kieran. They had kept in contact over the years, letters and secret drops so neither really knew where the other was.

In the quarters she shared with Alistair, it suddenly felt huge, empty and yet somehow, full. His desk tucked away in the corner opposite from hers, which was by a large window. He had never liked distractions when he worked, she had always told him it was very “scribe in the Chantry” if one ignored the piles of papers. His desk was not tidy and his “organized” piles were all held down with various small gifts she had given him. She smiled sadly as she flipped through the papers, trying to locate a certain stack.

They were housed under a resin encased spider, “Oh dear heart, even now you try to make me smile.”

Letters to Kieran, written over the years, silly things, his musings of what the child would be like, stories of their adventures. He had made her promise that in the event of him passing, she was to give them to Morrigan and they would decide if the child should get them and when.

A sealed letter caught her eye, the wax seal was of a rose and her initials written in his stark hand. Her fingers trembled as she picked up the letter carefully breaking the seal and reading it.

                _My Dearest Love, My Sweet Lonnie,_

_If you found this letter, then well, something has gone sideways and I am no longer at your side. Please do not mourn me Love, we had an amazing life together, better than I could have dreamed for myself by far. You changed my life in so many ways, and because of you I was able to see the joy in everything. We saved the world, you and I. But you saved me. You showed me just how important choice was, you choose me, all those years ago, and I still cannot fathom why._

_Don’t frown my love, and don’t hide it, I know you are frowning right now. Just like you are holding back tears. Promise me you won't hide yourself away, spend more time with your cousins, retire a bit so you can travel to places you want to visit, not ones you need to because of darkspawn. Adopt a new mabari, I know you miss BarkSpawn, but he literally fathered hundreds of pups, surely one of them will bond with you._

_All I am saying my heart, my love, my wife, is that I do not want you to see my death as your ending as well. Hold on the people you have left. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I am sorry I cannot give it to you any longer. But please do not give up, not because of me._

_I love you, Solona Amell, in this life and into the next._

_Always yours,_

_Alistair_

“Oh Alistair."  The strength left her legs as she sunk to the ground, tears flowing freely down her face.  Solona folded the letter carefully, not wanting to damage his final words to her. Marian and Carver were all that was left of her blood family, but Morrigan, the witch had been almost a sister to her, remained close. What did that make her son? The child born from her best friend and husband? Would she be his aunt? Second mother? Maybe it was better to let the child decide that.

She packed efficiently, years of travelling having taught her what was and wasn’t important to carry. Though Solona packed a few extra items, small things she thought Kieran might want that had been Alistair’s. The locket she wore around her neck, he had given it to her for her birthday not long after they had slain the Archdemon.

A quick word with the second in command to hold the fort until she sent word or returned, and she climbed into the saddle of her horse and set out for Skyhold. It was straight shot from Montsimmard to Skyhold and if she pushed herself, should only take about ten days of travel. It was a long time to be on a horse, even for her, but she needed to do it.

The soldiers at the front gates were confused by her arrival, no word had been sent ahead of a Warden-Commander. “Just get Lelianna. She knows me. I’m not here on official business.” She was tired and filthy and riding a horse sucked.

“Sorry ma’am, Sister Lelianna doesn’t greet people at the gates.” The soldier was holding the reigns of her horse and Solona refused to dismount.

She rolled her eyes and looked around, spotting a raven looking at her. “Baron Plucky?” The bird’s head swivelled to look at her. “Go get your mama. Auntie is here.” The bird flew off towards the tower with a squawk and Solona crossed her arms over her chest. “Leli is going to be very disappointed in you.”

The soldiers exchanged looks, suddenly very nervous. The raven flew back a few moments later, landing on Solona’s shoulder, who handed the bird a small bit of meat from her pouch. “Good boy.” She stroked Baron Plucky’s plumage with a finger, waiting.

Lelianna did not disappoint, appearing nearly out of thin air, behind the soldiers. “Greetings Solona, it has been a long time.” She smirked as the soldiers jumped away from her. “Leave us. I will attend to our guest personally. She is an old friend.”

Solona slid from her horse and into Lelianna’s embrace. “Oh dear, I am so sorry about Alistair. He was a good man.”

She fought to hold back tears as she nodded. “Thank you.” They walked to the stables to drop off the horse, barely speaking a word. They had been friends a long time, no words needed to be said between them. “Where is Morrigan?”

“The gardens.” Lelianna watched Solona pull a few things from her packs. “With the boy. Lonnie? Is this about the child?”

Solona sighed, clutching the stack of letters to her chest. “Its about a lot of things Leli. Which I will share with you later. But right now, I have a promise to fulfill.”

The gardens at Skyhold were beautiful, reminding her a bit of Kinloch’s gardens, a mix of medicinal herbs and flowers. Something for everybody. Morrigan was in the gazebo, bent over a table with a dark-haired boy as they shared a giant tome.

“Morrigan?” The witch’s head snapped up, a gasp falling from her.

She rushed toward the shorter woman. “Solona. Oh sister.”

The women held each other, ten years of emotions bubbling to the surface. All the years of trading stories, the little gifts left for one another. But not seeing the other, it was like a memory coming to the surface, a wish realized.

“You have strange blood. Old, but not.” A soft voice startled Solona and she looked down at the boy. “Hello Lady. You are one of Mother’s friends, aren’t you? The one who leaves us small gifts in hidden places?”

Kieran was not what Solona was expecting, he looked a great deal like Morrigan, but there was something about the way he held himself, the gentle smile on his face that was pure Alistair. She felt her heart break a little, this sweet little boy could have been theirs. Hers and Alistair’s. She shook the thought from her mind, that was an unkind path to follow. The boy was here, now, and he was Morrigan’s child.

She smiled and held out her hand, “I am. My name is Solona, some people call me Lonnie, either will work. I hear you are called Kieran, that’s a good name.” He took her hand briefly, a curious expression on his face. “I’ve been friends with your mother for, oh gosh, nearly twelve years now. But because we both travelled a lot, we haven’t seen each other in some time, so this is exciting for us.”

“Good, Mother needs more friends. She gets lonely. I hope you will stay.” He looked at Morrigan, “May I call her Auntie, Mother? She feels like an Auntie.”

Morrigan chuckled and gestured to Solona, “Tis up to her honestly. I make no decisions for her.”

“The hell you don’t, Morrigan.” She quipped with a smile. “Auntie sounds great. Thank you, Kieran. Now I interrupted your studies, perhaps you should return to them, if its okay that I borrow your mother for a bit?”

He waved a hand dismissively, giving Morrigan a quick hug and skipping back to his work. “He is a good child. Not what I expected.”

“Motherhood has changed you. Softened you.” Morrigan scowled at the mage. “I didn’t say it was bad thing! It looks like it has been good for you.”

Solona linked her arm into Morrigan’s, tugging her away from Kieran. “I have some things for him, from Alistair. But it is up to you when and if he receives them. We, I, him…” She sighed. “We didn’t want to intrude. Neither of us felt like we had the right. I am just glad you and I were able to stay in contact.”

“You still regret the choice, don’t you Solona?” Morrigan’s voice was soft, filled with sadness.

“Sometimes? Maybe? I think it would be different if Alistair and I had children of our own. But,” she trailed off, resisting the urge look back at her husband’s son.

“The Taint? Even if you had found a cure?” Morrigan was concerned now. She’d known that the Taint caused fertility issues, but she had no idea how badly. “Why did you not tell me? I could have fostered him with you for a time. Given you both the chance to know him. I am sorry.”

Solona waved a hand. “Its fine. Its done. What matters is now, and his future. He is all that is left of Alistair.” She pulled out the wrapped stack of letters. “These are for Kieran. I haven’t read all of them, or even most, they weren’t for me. Just, if you don’t want him to have them, don’t throw them away.”

Morrigan took the stack, long fingers caressing the pages. “I will see that he gets them, after you two speak. I want you to tell my son about his father.”

She could feel tears welling up. “Do you mean that? Honestly?” Morrigan nodded. “Thank you. Truly, thank you.”

“It was nothing. However, Solona, there is perhaps one other person you should speak to, before Kieran.” Morrigan had carefully lead her to the library, which was strangely quiet and empty for once. “Alistair’s mother. I know you tracked down her real identity. While he was here they did not speak, so I do not know if he knew her or not.”

“Fiona? She's here? He never really wanted to know, he said after the whole Goldanna fiasco, he was happier with my family being his.” Solona wiped her face absently, seeing the small elven mage sitting at a table. “Is that her? She looks so, I don’t know, not what I expected.”

Morrigan nodded, “Perhaps you should speak with her? She is very alone with the weight of her guilt; knowing her child lived but not knowing much beyond that. His death has hit her hard, and he refused to speak to her while they were here.”

“Fiona?” Solona approached the woman slowly, easing into the chair across from her. “My name is…”

She cut her off. “I know who you are, Hero of Ferelden. Warden-Commander.” Fiona spit the words at her. “You kept my son from me, all these years. He hated me. Because of you.”

“I didn’t keep him from you! I tracked you down, discovered your identity so he could meet you. He choose not to meet you of his own volition.” Solona pointed a finger at the older woman, seeing the same scowl Alistair use to make on her face. “I tried to convince him, but after the lie he had been told his whole life about who his mother was, and the disappointment of a half-sister who only wanted money. He didn’t want to be hurt again. That’s on you and Maric. And whoever else decided to lie to him.”

Fiona flinched. “It was not my choice to lie to him.”

“Bullshit.” Solona spat.

“It wasn’t! I wanted to raise him on my own. But Maric and Eamon said that was too dangerous. That he needed to be watched and protected, and a Warden would be unable to provide that, much less a stable environment for a child.” Fiona exhaled slowly, closing her eyes. “They needed to keep him somewhere he wouldn’t become a political ploy against Maric, and as a back up in case Cailan died, or something.”

“My child was taken from me to become the royal spare. And even after the dust settled, he choose not to become King.” Fiona glared at Solona. “Something I understand you told him not to do.”

Solona picked at the table. “Yeah well, they wanted him to marry Anora, and she’s a bitch, and she would have tried to kill me if I hung around.”

Fiona chuckled a little. “You are probably right. Did you two ever marry?”

She nodded, “In Kirkwall of all places. My cousin was a witness. It wasn’t fancy or anything.”

“But you have no children?” Solona shook her head. “The Theirin has ended then.”

“Listen, Fiona, if you had known him, you would know that a crown, the throne, none of it would have suited him. He would have been good at it, because he was a good man. But, it would have ruined him. He needed to be out there, helping people, getting his hands dirty.” Solona smiled, remembering Alistair helping anyone who needed it.

“He was a good man then? Everything I had heard of him growing up was that he was unhappy and sarcastic.” The elf had a barely there smile touching her lips.

“Well, Eamon’s wife treated him like shit cause she thought he was Eamon’s bastard. He didn’t have it easy, and he really wasn’t cut out for the Templars. But he always knew he wanted to help people.” Solona leaned forward, resting her arms on the table, the locket sliding forward to dangling freely.

Fiona gasped, her hand reaching for the necklace. “You have this! This of all things? I thought it was lost, all these years.”

Solona reached back and unclasped the chain, letting it slide free into Fiona’s hand. “Alistair gave it to me for my birthday many years ago. I didn’t get to wear it much, but I always had it.” She closed her fingers over Fiona’s, “Keep it. It was yours to begin with.”

She shook her head, pushing the locket back at Solona, “No, it was never mine, it was Maric’s. He gave it to me when we found out I was with child. It was his mother’s I believe. Did Alistair ever open it?”

“We couldn’t figure it out, and since it had been broken once, we didn’t want to damage it by trying to force the clasp.” She stroked the cool metal in her hand, feeling the repaired seams and patterns.

Fiona scoffed slightly, “You are a mage, you should have figured it out years ago. May I?” Solona passed the locket over, watching carefully. “All it takes is a tiny bit of magic to flick the clasp open. It was sealed that way so that only I, or another mage Maric trusted could have opened it.”

The locket popped open, a small square of folded paper sitting in its center. “It was a note, from Maric for Alistair. It is only right that you read it, as his widow.” Fiona held out the locket for Solona.

His widow. She was a widow. Something she had not thought about until that moment.

She carefully unfolded the paper, her hands shaking.

                                _My Son,_

_I am sorry, for everything. For allowing you to be raised under a lie. For not being there for your life. I am told it is for the best, but it does not feel that way. If the weight of this crown wasn’t so heavy, you would be at my side. You were born of love, please remember that, not duty. But duty is what keeps our people safe. You are barely from your mother’s womb, and yet it breaks my heart to not hold you._

_Please, no matter what happens to you, do not allow yourself to become bitter and angry. Please try not hate us for making the hardest decision of our lives. If the choice was mine, I would throw it all aside to have the freedom you will have. Please, choose things that will make you happy, that will allow you to help others without sacrificing yourself. Marry for love, not for duty._

_I will think of you everyday my son,_

_~Your Father_

Solona wordlessly held out the letter for Fiona, afraid to open her mouth, afraid of the guilt pressing against her heart trying to break through. Fiona read the letter, tears flowing down her cheeks. “Oh Maric. In another life my love.” The two women sat in silence for a while, wordless sharing the breathed of sorrow that they shared. Both had lost their loves, been left behind to live on.

“Tevinter is not the scary place full of horrors the Orlesians make it out to be. I promise. But if your mother says its okay to study this subject, I shall endeavor to find things appropriate for your age.” The voice drew Solona’s attention, accented and rich, Tevene for sure.

“That’s alright Ser Pavus, I am sure Mother will provide you with a list of items she will need.” Kieran’s voice brought a smile to Solona, she could hear the sass in the boy’s voice. “Auntie? There you are. Mother was wondering if you would like to join us for supper.”

The mage Kieran have been speaking with peered his head around the corner, eyes widening when he recognized her. “The Hero of Ferelden? Is your Auntie? Andraste preserve me, of course she is.”

“I would be delighted to join you both for supper.” She stood, offering a nod to Fiona, walking towards the boy. “Solona Amell. Kieran called you Pavus?”

“Dorian. A pleasure.” The mage towered over her but did not seem to be judging her like other Tevinter mages she had encountered. “The boy was just trying to expand his knowledge on magical theory, and I have graciously offered my expertise on the matter. You came from the Ferelden Circle?”

“Yeah, bit of shithole. Especially after I left.” She grinned at him, Dorian was very attractive, very attractive. “But now there aren't any Circles, not really.”

“Auntie, Ser Pavus meets with the Iron Bull. He will not notice your solicitations.” Kieran’s gentle voice reached her ears as she blushed a bright red.

Dorian laughed, clapping the boy on the shoulder. “Now now, just because I am not interested in the lovely Warden, does not mean I don’t notice. And she is very lovely.” He took her hand, kissing her knuckles gently. “My dear, allow me to extend my sincerest apologies for the passing of your husband. He was a good man, and he tolerated my solicitations with grace.”

She smiled at him, “Eh, Alistair got over men flirting with him long ago. Zevran took great pride in making him blush. It was cute. But, if you’ll excuse us?” She dropped an arm over Kieran’s shoulders.

“Of course, of course.” Dorian waved a hand. “But do come back and speak with me. I would love to pick your brain.”

Solona allowed Kieran to guide her away, tossing a quick goodbye to the man. “So what strange thing did your mother make for us tonight?”

“Mother has sent for something from the kitchens. I believe she requested Ferelden fare.” The boy lead her through the gardens and up a flight of stairs into the shared quarters. “Mother? I found Auntie right where you left her. You said it would be difficult to locate her.”

“Well I left her in the library, I half suspected she would be in the rafters with most of the tomes by now.” Morrigan called from the adjoining room.

Kieran looked at Solona in confusion. “Why would you be there?”

Solona went into the other room, “Because it was a common hiding place for me. I greatly enjoy reading, but people try to demand a lot of my time.”

“So, she hides from her responsibilities by finding strange places to read and conduct her research.” Morrigan had laid out various containers of food on the table for them to sit and eat. The stack of letters sat unnoticed on a chair by the wall.

The trio sat in an easy quiet through dinner. After clearing the table, Morrigan excused herself. “You two have a great deal to talk about, and I will leave you to it.” She kissed the top of Kieran’s head gentle before leaving the room.

“So, what has your mother told you about your father?” Solona really needed more wine to deal with her nerves, but this was something she needed to do sober.

The boy’s head cocked to the side, “She said he was a good man. Brave. Did you know him Auntie?”

Solona nodded, grabbing the stack of letters. “I knew him very well. We were in love. He, uh, passed recently.” She motioned for the boy to sit next to her. “We saved the world you know. Myself, your mother and your father. We stopped a Blight. And after that she left with you inside her. It broke your father’s heart.”

“Yours too. But why?” He blinked at her with eyes that looked so much like Alistair’s.

“Because you could have been mine. Which is a petty and ugly thing to think. But I wont lie to you, Kieran.” She untied the ribbon, pulling out the first letter. “Over the years he wrote letters to you. Why don’t we read them together and I can answer any questions you have?” Her smile didn’t touch her eyes as she watched the boy take the paper and unfold it carefully.

“What was his name? My father.”

“Alistair Theirin. And he loved you.”


End file.
